How I Got Through My First Year Away?

Yeah, I put on 6kgs and spent 3 weeks getting it off to complete exhaustion (that is another story)

Hi everyone, me again and it is time for a new post. Ok, so this post will be a general intro to how I survived my first year overseas, trying to play football.

Ok, well first of all has anyone been away from their home before? 26 years old and I thought that I knew it all. Obviously, I was seriously mistaken. Travelling overseas and living in a different country from your own is one of the most liberating and challenging experiences that you will encounter. When I moved from Christchurch to Auckland, I grew, emotionally, physically but for me the most powerful change was in my soul. To some people this will not make sense but to spiritual people, these buzz words will get you going. To most people it did not make sense. Why was I giving up my fruitful career in teaching? Why was I moving cities when I had everything? A partner, my family. And I was leaving it for the unknown. Nothing, no job, no security, no friends, no family. I was leaving it for myself. Well looking back at it now. I have to say “Who says that I had anything?” To society I had success, but society has created such a dull reality to life that now thinking about it. I was playing safe and although I lived life to my fullest in Christchurch with what I had, life is this moment, no matter what it looks like, in the end I guess this journey and the unknown is the most beautiful thing I even OWN apart from the strengthened relationships with my beautiful family of course. To live with no regrets, no matter what the outcome, I did it for me. And although sometimes I question this decision and wonder what my life would be now if I was teaching in Christchurch and in the leadership roles that I always dreamed of. I certainly as hell would not be the person I am today without it. So I will trust in what the universe has in store for me.

I was ready to leave New Zealand, I had an offer to go to Germany and I did not take it. I chose to stay and finish my Masters, gain some financial stability for once and tick off the boxes that I needed. There were many reasons, you know, my football life may have been very different with this decision and as well as my academic life but I stick with my decisions and what my heart said and the journey I am on now. With football, it is so hard or anything to know what to do. I have spent millions of conversations with friends, going back and forth with not knowing what to do. In this situation all I can say is DO WHAT YOU WANT… AND THEN OWN IT. YOU HAVE TO. We are fortunate to have choice whereas others do not. In January, it was time to leave. I said to myself “whatever team that wants me”, I will take it. So long story short, I went to Serbia. Now, stop there for one second and shut the front door, before you go to Serbia I really hope that you think about this decision and your own safety. I was really busting to go overseas and I guess that is what I did.

Next blog, when I stepped into Serbia.

Football Sucks

I am so sorry to tell you this…BUT there will be some days where football sucks, it will not only just suck. It will ruin your day, it will ruin your night, it will make you doubt yourself, it may make you do none of these things, it may make you want to prove the naysayers wrong, it could do a lot of things BUT from my experience, there will be days where football is just going to SUCK and there is nothing really good to say about it. I understand the feeling too well and empathise with you. I can’t always tell you that it will be ok, because it won’t BUT I will give you hope. That it will only take one game, one game for everything to click for you to feel like you love the game again. And you do love the game. You just don’t like everything that comes with it.

Live with it, use it to be better. There will be a team for you, there will be, you just need to TRUST that with hard work you will get better and continue getting better.

On those days especially, I want you to be good to yourself (I know that it is easier said than done). I want you to really take in this blog post and UNDERSTAND that there are thousands of people out there who would LOVE to be you. However, that thinking does give me perspective but not enough these days. What keeps me going is being kind to myself. I watch my game, I take in what I can from feedback (I do not let people, even coaches perspectives drown my inner soul), I focus on what I did, what I can do better and I MOVE the hell on.

I forgive myself. Yes, that is right, I forgive myself for being so mean and having these expectations on myself. I move on and realise that I am my investment, and I will continue working on my craft. It will get better. It will get better.

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Follow Your Passion

Aimee Phillips BlogI’ve learnt a lot this year, maybe 6 years of learning in the period of 1 year…I have been in situations that no person should ever be in and I hope to God that you are not…I have kept a lot to myself and battled on, I have sacrificed maybe nearly every part of myself for the game but do not regret it at all, I have become such a better player because of it and so many more things that have happened but this post is derailing from the main purpose so I will stop… but the main thing that I have learnt is… That I will never again do anything that does not align with my spirit, who I am and what my spirit wants to make it whole because you can’t betray your soul, you can but the things that make you sing and shine from the inside out cannot hide or be suppressed and it is a losing battle. Have you ever fought your soul? Well call me strange but I fight it now. It is one of the craziest feelings to know that your purpose is more than you think or can imagine. That there is MORE for you in this massive big world although you don’t feel ready or want it.

So I really am going to continue to follow my passion, I love football very much and it is still my passion but there is a passion that is even stronger that has been bursting to be let out for sometime and that is my passion to start my own English Language Business. To be to help others and to be one of the leading academics in my field so then I can help and advise and give love, motivation to those who need my help and how I think.

This journey of my life is and has been the craziest 27 years. My dad said to me the other day. Aimee, you have to settle eventually. Maybe it is true but maybe it is not or maybe some people are meant to be sent on this earth to live lives that aren’t “settling” or looked as the normal. All I know is that I have to let my spirit be happy. Truly happy. Like jumping out of this world happy and let it live the way it was meant to live on this planet.

Love you all,

Aimee

Much to Life

Aimee Phillips Blogs Travel at Greece

There is so much more to life.

Being a footballer at a high level comes with its pros and cons and some of the best memories and worst memories of my life to date but I have really enjoyed the journey and what it has taught me.

A high level equals high expectations and if you cannot deal with the environment you will not survive so you must be strong. HOWEVER.

I have taken a lot of time to think about this and experience these feelings and quite bluntly I will let you know.

THAT THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN…someone yelling at you because your one touch was bad. That your pass was not strong enough, that you let someone pass you. Obviously you don’t give up and you give it your soul to make sure it doesn’t happen but I tell you now. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE than accepting that that is your life.

Love football, love the game no matter what it has done to me and my passion keeps me playing. However, I need you to know that I understand if you don’t enjoy it sometimes but dont hate the game. It is not the game that you hate. Do not BLAME football for this.

So I have had about 4 interviews this week to do some online English teaching for companies this week. What an amazing experience and wow, the world continues to fascinate me.

Will be home with my family soon. I love you all.

Aimee