How to Deal with People that are Hard to Deal With – Football – Wise

Hi everyone, we are going to have a small break from my adventures in Serbia and get back to those stories next week. This blog is about dealing with those hard personalities on and definitely off the pitch and yes I am one of them.

In football there are huge personalities and in life, but in this blog I am only going to cover some of the personalities that I have had to deal with on the pitch. Some people may be able to relate, others not, and that is perfectly ok but if you are one of those players or people that can relate then this blog is for you.

When you are playing in a team, there are huge and forever-changing dynamics and personalities. If someone does not like you, they have the power to destroy your season and either turn the team against you or make you the champion or “popular player”. I am a very positive individual, who can be very kind. In football, this has been mistaken by many players. Who have made fun of how I am as a person and as a player on the field. I have a unique personality that can easily be targeted. Why? This is because I am different and I guess football teams can either embrace that or ridicule you for it.

I do not know about you but I can accept criticism, but what I do not like and absolutely hate is the constant yelling and being talked to like a dog from individuals at times, it comes with the territory. Why do these players do this? Good question, please ask them for me. Obviously, everyone has different belief systems and deal with situations differently. This will happen anywhere you are but I truly believe that there is no space for toxicity in any organisation.

. Personally, I do not believe that someone telling me how to play the game every move of the game is effective because I have my own brain, but what is helpful is my teammates having high expectations of me, like in Germany. My advice on this, put them in their place, otherwise they will get worse and worse. Or just laugh and feel sorry for them and play BOSS anyway. When you play BOSS, there is nothing more to say.

Look, the main thing to say is: I feel you. Over the years, I have had so many messages from players explaining to me the racism, abuse, isolation they found whilst playing in their teams. I really hope that this does not happen to you, but there will be times where you face adversity, I can guarantee you on that. We have all gone through it, we go through it and yes, these players are in our team, and we are a team so we have to work with what we have got. You can influence how they react and deal with you but I don’t think its worth the energy worrying about or thinking that there is something wrong with you; there isn’t.

No one should be talked to with disrespect or a tone that is not respectable. Do not ever let them dim your light.

Until next time. Aimee

Europe, here I am

There are many stories to share and a lot of details that I have to leave out for professional reasons. Maybe one day in a book, I will share these details with you, but the time isn’t now. Let us return to our adventures to Serbia.

So there I was with my brother, mother, father and one of my best friends drinking coffee in Christchurch at the airport feeling like a million dollars. Yay, my first “professional contract” signed and I am going to play football in Europe and get paid for it. It was definitely on paper living the dream. The hype was great, the congratulations made me feel like I was prepared and there I went; to the other side of the world.

In Serbia, I was picked up straight away at the airport. I went in the wrong door and attempted to drive the car. I was introduced and professionally spoken to. We drove for an hour to get to my new home Subotica (one of the most beautiful places I have ever lived). When we got there I had a meeting with the president of the club (he did not speak English and his sons were the coaches of the team. I met the coach and they talked about how impressive their club team was and the history behind what they did which was beautiful. They hyped me up and kept giving me kudos for representing my national team. They were 8 years in the running being a competitor in the Champions League. I ordered an egg, I had no idea what I was ordering but I had an egg just for your information.

A few hours in silence passed and I had the best introduction. We drove to our apartment and got my keys. When I got inside, I was not fussed whatsoever because I had a home and for me, travelling the world and being in another city, having a roof over your head meant more than any material or home that you were given. For people that have higher expectations of their living conditions, you would have been mortified and got back onto the plane. There were 2 beds, one in the lounge, one with a double room, because of the nice person I am, I gave this room away another massive mistake of not putting yourself first which you have to if you are going to survive the months to come. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my time overseas, but also I was incredibly traumatized from what we experienced in our season.

The room was full of Catholic saints on the wall, figurines and old, traditional cloths on the table. We had a old school tv, washing machine, everything that you needed. We had bed sheets on the bed which were an array of colours, pink and yellow and a variety of sizes. Our agent talked to me and I was ready. Let us just get into the training, I thought to myself. I am rearing to go.

So let us get into training – European style.

How I Got Through My First Year Away?

Yeah, I put on 6kgs and spent 3 weeks getting it off to complete exhaustion (that is another story)

Hi everyone, me again and it is time for a new post. Ok, so this post will be a general intro to how I survived my first year overseas, trying to play football.

Ok, well first of all has anyone been away from their home before? 26 years old and I thought that I knew it all. Obviously, I was seriously mistaken. Travelling overseas and living in a different country from your own is one of the most liberating and challenging experiences that you will encounter. When I moved from Christchurch to Auckland, I grew, emotionally, physically but for me the most powerful change was in my soul. To some people this will not make sense but to spiritual people, these buzz words will get you going. To most people it did not make sense. Why was I giving up my fruitful career in teaching? Why was I moving cities when I had everything? A partner, my family. And I was leaving it for the unknown. Nothing, no job, no security, no friends, no family. I was leaving it for myself. Well looking back at it now. I have to say “Who says that I had anything?” To society I had success, but society has created such a dull reality to life that now thinking about it. I was playing safe and although I lived life to my fullest in Christchurch with what I had, life is this moment, no matter what it looks like, in the end I guess this journey and the unknown is the most beautiful thing I even OWN apart from the strengthened relationships with my beautiful family of course. To live with no regrets, no matter what the outcome, I did it for me. And although sometimes I question this decision and wonder what my life would be now if I was teaching in Christchurch and in the leadership roles that I always dreamed of. I certainly as hell would not be the person I am today without it. So I will trust in what the universe has in store for me.

I was ready to leave New Zealand, I had an offer to go to Germany and I did not take it. I chose to stay and finish my Masters, gain some financial stability for once and tick off the boxes that I needed. There were many reasons, you know, my football life may have been very different with this decision and as well as my academic life but I stick with my decisions and what my heart said and the journey I am on now. With football, it is so hard or anything to know what to do. I have spent millions of conversations with friends, going back and forth with not knowing what to do. In this situation all I can say is DO WHAT YOU WANT… AND THEN OWN IT. YOU HAVE TO. We are fortunate to have choice whereas others do not. In January, it was time to leave. I said to myself “whatever team that wants me”, I will take it. So long story short, I went to Serbia. Now, stop there for one second and shut the front door, before you go to Serbia I really hope that you think about this decision and your own safety. I was really busting to go overseas and I guess that is what I did.

Next blog, when I stepped into Serbia.

Alright I am ready 28 Years – hit me

As I listen to: ‘Mess her up’ by Amy Shark, I feel the drive to write a much needed, promised post on me babbling about what I think the world is about but know so little about. For fun, for a way to express this wild mind of mine, and to be true to myself.

So it was time to reflect and laugh about my 28 years of existence. First of all, how the hell did 28 years creep up on me this fast? It only felt like I was 21 dancing in Cruz to the worst music possible winging at life with a lot more structure than I have now 😛

On my 28th birthday a lot of things happened, this isn’t the time nor place to share but what that moment really taught me was that: relationships really are the core to our existence. And these friendships, relationships can change or end in a matter of seconds NO MATTER HOW GOOD OR KIND YOU ARE TO PEOPLE. People that you really trust with all your heart can lie straight to your face and there really is nothing you can do about it, but identify and catch this behaviour. I am still trying to figure out how to push or move forward from this and I think I really got a wake up call that the world isn’t this nice, bubbly world that I imagined it to be. Literally, you live and you LEARN. It does not make sense to me because I do not lie and don’t know how people do but there are these people out there. If you can fill me in on any answers towards this, that would be great.

Long story, short. I have reevaluated and reshuffled some friendships in my life. What has prevailed is family, my dear brother that loves me no matter how I fail, what mistakes I make. He continues to believe that I am such a special human being in this world. Cherish these people, forgive those that are dealing with their inner demons but do not let them manipulate you or use your kindness against you, stand up for yourself when people try to bring you down and act cool and ALWAYS be your biggest supporter. When you fight against your own inner demons, it is possible to enable them to win. So do not let them.

Love Aimee

The 50/50 of Dealing with Disappointment

If you are reading this post, let us talk about disappointment.

Firstly, the feeling is something that I do not want you to have to ever deal with but the reality is: you will. Some a lot, some more that a lot and others I guess will have a lucky run which is good for the now but in the long run will probably be your downfall and literally bite you in the bum (good luck soldiers).

So with disappointment how do we cope? Have you had to deal with it? Well it sucks doesn’t it? The most bitter disappointment is WHEN YOU KNEW THAT YOU COULD HAVE PROBABLY STOPPED THE INEVITABLE FROM HAPPENING. First, FORGIVE YOURSELF, tell yourself one of those rainbow glittery sayings like “everything happens for a reason”, “life sucks” haha ANYTHING that makes you feel better, do it (apart from the hard things I guess) and I guess start feeling the pain of this disappointment and acknowledge that it exists.

I can’t tell you that it will hurt any less or that there is a perfect way but all I can speak from is my EXPERIENCES and a person who has had to deal with a lot of lows (disappointments). Every disappointment, I deal with differently, every situation forces me to find a new level of myself that I never knew was possible. Call it learning, call it some buzzy concept like “growth mindset” or even better, “shit happens”, call it whatever you want.

Just know, that it is NORMAL to feel disappointment in your life or a lot of times in your life. There is a 50/50 zone when you are feeling disappointment.

Next post. Finding yourself again after disappointment.