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Starting this post I am feeling an uneasy feeling, firstly because I know that getting inside of the brain of a high performance athlete is dangerous; secondly because every person is different, my experiences, my thoughts and my belief system is true to me and is to be taken solely from a personal view and not to be interpreted as the only way that an athlete’s brain works (you are all educated people so you will hopefully get it :P).

If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” VINCENT VAN GOGH

Dealing with darkness…what does this mean? In any athlete’s life (any life) you will have to come up against yourself and your brain. Inside your brain will be some interesting things. Inside here will be self doubt, anxiety, procrastination, fear, fear, fear and maybe let us just throw in some crazy mood swings just for fun. You may be on edge, you may be so worked up that you under perform even when you DID EVERYTHING to make sure that you could perform. These experiences will either destroy you or create you but persistence is the key. The brain and psychology is one aspect that I wish athletes studied on par with their degrees to gain their best performance.

So how do we deal with the darkness? Sadly, some athletes and people never do, some people learn to live with it and others learn to conquer it. You have the choice: give up, let it destroy you, or fight, fight through to get to the better days of your athlete life.

“Ride the waves everyone told me, enjoy the journey, they told me, I don’t think they realised how fucking big the waves were going to be” – Aimee Phillips

The next post I am going to document 30 days of me trying to use HEADSPACE (a meditation app). I am a very strong, self aware person but have neglected my meditation practices and I feel that this will add to my game and who I am as a person, most importantly. So the next 30 days I am going to document using the app and if it actually changed anything. See my stories and Facebook updates.

Also a massive thanks to my FACEBOOK community. 1000+ likes a month ago, but most importantly, genuine connections and support from you during the last 5+ years. You have helped provide me with the opportunities I have today. Thank you for never leaving my side.

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